Sadness

Sadness is not being able to open up even when your insides is full to its brim. Happiness must feel weightless. Tears come when you know you can stop them from flowing but you still let them roll out because if they remain inside, your mind turns acid and your outside becomes sour. Times when sadness is around you, you may have many around you but for you there is no one. Gazing into the empty space with hope that it will break into some warm light and will soak you into the blissfulness. But sadness is like a setting sun, all you've is the drowning feeling. No one to pull you out. It becomes a horror show when sadness give way to disgust. To be disgusted by your own state and disgusted by everything that feels nothing for you. You hate yourself more because of the hate that is harbouring guilt. You are restless because sadness, disgust, hate and guilt is all you're filled with. Hope seems like a fucked up agenda because you know the only way out is to keep dragging on this path, through all this murky, smelling souls.