Suicide ways....

Going through the first few pages of ‘Veronika decides to die’, I came across this non-compos-mentis thought (google it silly), ‘what’s the easiest way to die?’

I have confidence in believing that most must have thought of this senile and bizarre idea at some point in their life.  But the more I ponder upon this idea, I come to no conclusion, I mean think about the pain that will accompany you till you reach the brink of your death.

Death is always painful, to you first and to others later. To believe no one else cares for you and going all misanthrope with your thoughts, just for one moment think about the leftover of you and by leftover I mean your dead body to be precise. Die either way; remains of you are not going to perish away without being a cumbersome leftover for others.

But let this idea on rest for this time, plunging back to the previous thought, ‘how many easy ways are there to die?’ Let me put it straight - none. If you still let tempestuous thoughts of dying marathon on your mind tracks then let me help you.

I’ve thought about myriad ways; let’s analyze some usual ways that many have adopted to die.

v  Falling off 

I say ‘seriously!’

To all those who are considering this idea, ‘you’re a hero’ but still why die in such agony? Imagine you’re falling off from a height, I know the view might be thrilling, all the way down must be refreshing, winds slashing right through you and you may feel like a movie character for the time you are falling down but then suddenly you wish to live, you learned about a worthy reason to live for because it is when we are facing extreme situations like death that we get enlightened. Now you want to revert back, ‘sorry dear but no return ticket, it’s a one-way ride.’ And then will come the terrifying sensation of hitting the ground. Your whole body will call you jerk. Bones breaking, ribs cracking, jaw smashing and lastly brain squashing way to die. Too painful.

I’ll rate it 8/10.

v  Getting hit by Train, Plane, Car…

I know you’ll wonder, ‘who gets hit by a plane?’ I wrote it to add a rhythmic effect (time to applaud my sense of humour). 

To get hit by a train, car is stupid. The very first reason I called it stupid is that there is no certain death. What if you survive? You’ll be left with injuries and deformities to further add to your woes. Secondly, even if you do die, why the hell are you making someone else life miserable? That person who was driving will now have to go through all psychological and court ordeals. Are you looking for an accomplice in hell? Also, it’ll be a painful way to die. Most fatal accidents are excruciating with no instant death. Why die in so uncertainty while encumbering others with sorrow?

I’ll rate it 9/10.

v  Burning to death

Are you insane?

I know you’ve been living a miserable life but seriously burning yourself?

Scathing yourself could be excruciating but ‘burning yourself’ is the highest level of absurdness. Most people who lighted themselves were dying in no happiness, rather they were trying to get rid themselves of fire.  You may like killing yourself and I’m all supportive but believe me, don’t die from burning because you are not going to die instantly but very slowly with great intensity of pain running through your body. In the middle of your adventure, you’ll realize, ‘what the hell! Someone put off this fire’ and then you’ll do ‘dance macabre’, i.e., a dance of death. You’ll do a wonderful dance, unfortunately, you won’t live to enjoy your performance.

I’ll rate it 10/10.

v  Poisoning

Of course, this is the way everyone will argue to be the best. God bless ‘sleeping pills’ but dear, one cannot get ‘sleeping pills’ or ‘cyanide’ that easily. They are not sold in every other chemist shop as shown in movies. You need to have a medical prescription to get them from particular shops. Just reason out yourself, why is a doctor going to prescribe you sleeping pills without a medical reason? God forbid this but if the doctor realizes your intention then I wonder whether he is kind-hearted like me to help you with your insatiable hunger to die. Don’t go to them, they might get successful and you may end up not dying.

Drinking toilet cleaner is puerile, you don’t die from drinking that so easily and in addition to this, you may discover a revolting taste for your taste buds, you may die of that unpleasant taste though.

I’ll rate it 6/10.

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